宝贝,如果我能重排字母表,我会心动
一下子忘掉你。

我才不会牺牲这个唯一理顺乱麻的机会
那个英文拼字法。

注释:

拼字法是书写语言拼音的规则。汉语拼音相当规整,而英语拼音(也就是英文单词),相当不一致。例如,cat和kitty的c和k发一样的音,却是不同字母。主要是由于英文受外来语的影响极深。这是无法改变的现状了。

另外,第一句是话锋一转,本来的把妹用语是“宝贝,如果我能重排字母表,我会让U和I在一起”

不过,如果英文哪天也被标准拼音化了,就成了另外一出笑话(出处不详):

The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of negotiations, Her Majesty Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replased with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replased by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always been a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgraful, and they would go.

By the forth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". During ze fifz year ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining"ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trobls or difikultis and evrivum vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

And evrivun vil liv hapili evr aftr